"Your Amazon Drone delivery was unable to be completed because…"
Microsoft has marked down Google Drive and Dropbox for not having “remote access”. Apparently, their users need to drive up to a Google or Dropbox datacenter to access their files. Who knew?… :-)
June 13, 2014: After a ten month search, Microsoft board names Stephen Elop, the former CEO of Nokia, as the company’s next CEO. A spokesman brushes of light hearted comments from the media about the omens of making the announcement on Friday the 13th.
August 19, 2014: In his first press conference as Microsoft’s CEO, Elop announces that he will not dignify conspiracy theories about him acting as a mole and willfully damaging Nokia’s fortunes before its takeover by Microsoft, his prior and future employer, by commenting on the allegations.
January 21, 2015: Elop’s memo about the need to accept the dominance of iOS and Android against Windows leaks to the media. The memo underlines his concern that lack of a native Office suite for these operating systems is already hurting the services side of Microsoft.
January 23, 2015: As the furor over the leaked memo grows, Microsoft calls a seemingly hasty press conference. Elop announces native versions of Office for iOS and Android to be released in a year. Microsoft also sunsets Windows version of Office, to be effective immediately, citing the small market share of Windows PCs in an era where most computing devices are mobile and pointing out the need to focus on the gargantuan task of porting the productivity suite to two new operating systems.
June 12, 2015: Microsoft issues an earning warning due to sharp drop off in sales of its Office suite. Elop claims he is unfazed and calls the falling market share “bitter, but vital medicine” to secure the company’s long term future. He seems particularly happy to be vindicated that his actions at Nokia were undertaken in good faith, as he is obviously implementing a similar turnaround plan for his alleged pay master. He later admonishes business reporters for failing to understand that it is not possible right a ship this size without setting it on fire first.
Overheard a dad and his young son in a souvenir shop in Kauai:
D: Oh look, a coconut piggy bank! Awesome.
S: What is that?
D: It is a piggy bank made out of coconut shells.
S: What is a piggy bank?
D: You put your money into it through this slot.
S: Then what?…